Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Lou Brutus defends Avenged Sevenfold

Lou Brutus has shared his thoughts on hatred in the world of rock in "STFU: A Rock Essay." Surely caused by the recent drivel of Robb Flynn:

It’s happening again.

An album by a rock band takes the Number One spot on charts around the globe and how does the rock world react?

Like a bunch of jealous, little bitches.

What the hell is the matter with you people? You whine and moan that all of the sales and all of the media and all of the attention goes to a bunch of pre-fabricated pop idols, but then when one of your own actually does break thru, in this case Avenged Sevenfold, you race each another to your thesauruses to see who can come up with more variations on the word "sucks" to describe them.

In the pop world when someone hits, everybody wants to work with him or her. They do duets; they show up on each other’s tracks. They work together figuratively and literally. In the rock world when someone rises up, too many people start looking for a hammer to nail them back down.

The fact that a lot of this bullshit comes from other rock musicians is mind-boggling. Instead of getting yourself all riled up and coming up with creative ways to crap on another musician, I have something better you can do. Take that energy and put it into making your own music better so that one day maybe you’ll have the success of the person you want to rag on so badly. Who knows? Maybe one day you'll be so big that jackasses will blindly attack for no good reason, too.

Being in a band is hard work. Even anyone who ever tried to put a group together for a high school talent show knows that. Being in any kind of professional ensemble can be nightmarish even when everthing is going your way, which it rarely does. That's why I'm happy for ANY artist who can squeeze ANY success out of the business as the odds are stacked so highly against them they've a better chance of being struck by lightning as they're buying a winning lottery ticket while riding a unicorn.

A large part of the problem is that very few people identify themselves anymore by what they like. They prefer to identify themselves by what they hate. And that sure is getting tired. I understand that’s an easier road to go down and leaves you less prone to an attack from someone else but I don’t want to hear about what you hate. I’ve got plenty of stuff I already don’t care for. Tell me about something that’s great so maybe it will make my time on this planet surrounded by a bunch of bitter complainers a bit more tolerable.

Oh, and I don't give a rat's rectum who you think is robbing what from who. It's usually the first salvo fired by those who spend all their time on the The Junior Rock Critic Circle Jerk Merry-Go-Round. Trust me, I could probably listen to any album by any band and have a damn good idea who they like and are influenced by. Everything that everyone is doing isn't much more than elaborate rip-offs of what Chuck Berry came up with more then half a century ago. Dont' get me wrong, I love to play "Spot the Influence" as much as the next music nerd, I'm just not going to get out a baseball bat for an online beatdown just because you think a band wears their influences on their sleeve too strongly.

It’s kind of ironic that many of the worst offenders are metal fans. Hey, aren’t you the ones always complaining about being ostracized for what music you like? Then where do you come off dumping on somebody else for the music they enjoy? The next time someone snickers at you for the stoner-death-symphonic-technical-doom-sludge-gothic-industrial-grindcore-progressive-symphonic-thrash metal t-shirt you’re wearing, try to remember you pulled the same asshole bullshit they’re doing to you.

You should definitely think twice before you ever again utter the phrase "it's not as good as their earlier albums." You know who says that? The same people who love to bitch about a band making the same album over and over again. Bands are supposed to change and evolve. I don't love every album KoRn has ever done but at least they're busting ass on each release trying to make someting happen. You would have thought Metallica had driven a busload of nuns and orphans over a cliff when they did "Lulu" with Lou Reed. Personally, I didn't think it was the best thing they've ever done. However, they're putting their balls on the line trying to get something interesting going.

Lets also give the word “talentless” a vacation. You may not like the music someone makes but there’s a good chance if they’re in a  touring band, doing a hundred shows a year, after having been rehearsing since the age of ten, they are far more adept at their craft then you are at anything you’re ever going to do in your entire lifetime of typing insults on a keyboard, so lay off “talentless.”

"They're overrated!" Yeah, that's another one. They're not overrated, you just don't like them. Maybe you're underrating them. "Sheeple" is overdone as well. It's often bleated by those resentful of anyone who doesn't travel in the same wooly herd they do.

And give the zealotry a rest, too. I’m tired of hearing people say, “They’re not pure.” Shove your idea of purity up your ass with a spoon of custard. It’s usually the guy running around shouting “METAL” and “SHOW ME YOUR HORNS,” while dishing smack about someone as being “not metal enough,” that’s the biggest poser of the bunch.

Here’s another newsflash: A haircut, piercings, designer rock clothing and a bunch of ink don’t make you metal. Some of the most metal people I’ve known had no ink, hair that had never seen the inside of a salon, and would'nt be caught dead in anything other than a black t-shirt. Its just more poser fuel. Some of the phoniest rockers I've ever met look like they just stepped out of the pages of a magazine. Don't be fooled.

Finally, this is not a call to kiss any band's ass. It's only a reminder that if you don't like it, just move on without all the hate. Life is too short to spend it being a douchebag.

So the next time you have an urge to get online to dump on someone who makes music, especially if you make music as well, do yourself and the rest of the world a great, big, fat, favor.

Shut the fuck up.

Sincerely,

Lou Brutus
September 15, 2013